The Real Tragedy in Life:

I sit here at the middle point in my life. (Wow!! How did that happen?) Connecting with friends and family, from what seems like a life time ago. Finding out what has happened in their lives over the years.  Realizing what opportunities had been open to me that I didn’t even see.

It would seem to me (and I could be wrong here) that life has presented me with exactly what I wanted and on a few occasions. Everything that I had dreamed about would have been mine, if only I’d have had the patience to let it all unfold. Unfortunately, the trick to knowing this lays in hindsight. So then the lesson here is that life is not, not giving us what we want but that we aren’t patient enough to wait for it. Interesting!! There in lies the real tragedy in life. We truly are our own worst enemies.  

How do I know if I am getting it right?

I was recently asked this question. My friend’s question was, How do I know that I am getting it right? I said…how does it feel?

We greatly underestimate our feelings. Our feelings are our guide. If it feels wrong then it is wrong, if it feels right then it is right. The tricky bit is not to lie to ourselves about our feelings. We often want something so bad that we ignore our own feelings or talk ourselves into believing that it feels right.

So then the next question would be. How do I know if what I am feeling is right or I am just talking myself into it? If we are honest with ourselves we know. This is not something that needs to be taught. If it is something that we are worrying over then it is a thought that we keep returning too. Make it a point of noticing how it feels each time you return to the thought. The answer will be obvious to you.

Bucket List

Do you have a bucket list? A list of things you would like to experience before you kick the bucket. I recently had this discussion with a few of my friends and I was surprised that most of them didn’t. They vaguely thought about maybe wanting to do this or that but that is as far as they ever went with it. A bucket list helps you to focus on what it is you want. Focusing on what you want helps you define how you want it to happen.

So I am asking the question! Do you have a bucket list? What is on yours?

Expecting Different Results?

Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity … “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

This quote makes me laugh. It is so true. Most of us operate on auto pilot. We go through our daily lives with out really thinking about what we are doing, why we are doing it, or even if we want to do what it and then wonder why things stay the same.

Have you ever actually sat down and asked yourself what it is you do want? How, you would like to see things turn out? But I bet you have been upset when life has…oh, I don’t know…given you lemons.

If YOU want things to be different then YOU have to think differently about the things that YOU want to be different.

What a Waste

At the end of my days I don’t want to be stood at the pearly gates, reviewing my life with Saint Peter and to have the following conversation:
Saint Peter :  I see you tried very hard all your life to do the right thing.  You hit every mark. I see you went to church almost every Sunday. Why, you only missed but a few. Well done you!!

Me: Thank you Saint Peter. It was hardly ever easy but I worked at it, very hard.

Saint Peter:  Can I ask you a question?

Me: Of course.

Saint Peter: Why did you do that?

Me: Do what? Try so hard?

Saint Peter: Yes. Why did you strive as hard as you did to hit every mark when you clearly didn’t want too?

Me: Well….because it was the right thing to do.

Saint Peter: According to who?

Me: Hmmmm…let me think a moment. I guess it was all sorts of different people. Ranging from those who were guiding me when I was growing up, to the television, amongst a million other influences that I was exposed too.

Saint Peter:  Sooo…just using church as an example…let’s see if I got this right?
You dragged your butt out of bed, EARLY, every Sunday morning. Then harassed everyone else until they did the same. Made them shower and dress in their Sunday best. Then march them all out the door to church, kicking and screaming all the way. So that by the time your family got seated in the pew everyone was in a really bad mood. Only to listen to a priest sprout on about life and how you should be living it when you didn’t even agree with what he was saying most of the time. And you did all of this just because someone else told you it was the right thing to do?

Me: Well... Yes, I guess so.
Saint Peter: Hmmmm.

Me: So what are you saying? I wasted every Sunday of my life?
Saint Peter: Well no. Not exactly. There were some Sundays that you didn’t go to church! Oh…Wait!! On those Sundays you felt guilty that you weren’t in church. So yes!  I am saying that you wasted every Sunday of your life.

NO!!…I am not supporting not going to church. I just used this example because it is something that most of us can relate too.

What a waste of time life would have been if this is how it was lived. This isn’t LIVING. This is existing. Just going through the motions and yet the sad thing is, this is how the majority of us do live our lives. We go through each day doing what is expected of us with little or no thought to what our own personal opinion on the subject is.  Oh, we know when we don’t want to do something. We complain about having to do it. Constantly!  Yet, we still do it. Over and over again. With the same bad attitude.

Why? Well, there is work, for example, most of us have to do it. We need to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. Not to mention those ungrateful brats, who not only need feeding but clothing, educating and entertaining, of course. The problem isn’t with the fact that we have to work but rather our attitude towards work. 

Until recently, when that alarm would go off, at what I thought of as some ungodly hour, the first feeling I would experience every workday morning was one of dread and resentment. I really hated having to go to work. There were so many things around the house that I had to do and just never had time for. I work long hours, it seems to me and the children, because they complain regularly about it, that I am hardly ever at home and let’s not get started about that nearly 3 hour commute I do every day. I was just miserable. So I started to analyze what was so awful about my job. What I realized was this; my job itself was actually quite good. It was challenging and could be very rewarding. I got to interact with wonderful people all day long. When I thought about it, this was probably the perfect job for me. So then why did I recent it so much. If I had to work, and I did, then why was I so upset about it? It was my attitude. It, quite frankly, sucked!

I realized that life was going to continue to feel awful to me until I decided to feel otherwise. I made a choice. I was going to be happy anyway. Just like Mother Theresa had said all that time ago. I have to tell you that since my attitude toward my job has improved I have been a whole lot happier.

Then I started to rethink my attitude across all aspects of my life. And wouldn’t you know it. My life started to change. Instead of existing I am actually starting to live. What changed? Nothing. Nothing that is, except my attitude.

With my attitude in check, all of my nows are sooo much better.

The Great Gift

We have all heard it said that children are a gift from God. If you have ever looked into a baby’s face you can’t help but agree. But, have you ever looked at it from the baby’s perspective. Life itself is the gift. Regardless of what situation you happened to be born into. Rich or poor. We have all been given this incredible gift. We have all been given the opportunity to come and play, to experience, to grow and to learn. Can you see just how much of a privilege that is?

My Philosophy

Life, to me, is all about the HOW and all about the NOW.
OK…so what does that mean?
All about the HOW! How equals your attitude. Your attitude is ALL important. It pretty much governs your reality. How you feel, influences your opinions on every subject, at every level.
All about the NOW! Now, right now, is all you have. There is no promise of next year, a month from now, or even a moment from now. Now is all you have. The natural conclusion is pretty simple… if your how is messed up, then so are all of your nows. Improve your how and then all of your nows are also improved.