What a Waste

At the end of my days I don’t want to be stood at the pearly gates, reviewing my life with Saint Peter and to have the following conversation:
Saint Peter :  I see you tried very hard all your life to do the right thing.  You hit every mark. I see you went to church almost every Sunday. Why, you only missed but a few. Well done you!!

Me: Thank you Saint Peter. It was hardly ever easy but I worked at it, very hard.

Saint Peter:  Can I ask you a question?

Me: Of course.

Saint Peter: Why did you do that?

Me: Do what? Try so hard?

Saint Peter: Yes. Why did you strive as hard as you did to hit every mark when you clearly didn’t want too?

Me: Well….because it was the right thing to do.

Saint Peter: According to who?

Me: Hmmmm…let me think a moment. I guess it was all sorts of different people. Ranging from those who were guiding me when I was growing up, to the television, amongst a million other influences that I was exposed too.

Saint Peter:  Sooo…just using church as an example…let’s see if I got this right?
You dragged your butt out of bed, EARLY, every Sunday morning. Then harassed everyone else until they did the same. Made them shower and dress in their Sunday best. Then march them all out the door to church, kicking and screaming all the way. So that by the time your family got seated in the pew everyone was in a really bad mood. Only to listen to a priest sprout on about life and how you should be living it when you didn’t even agree with what he was saying most of the time. And you did all of this just because someone else told you it was the right thing to do?

Me: Well... Yes, I guess so.
Saint Peter: Hmmmm.

Me: So what are you saying? I wasted every Sunday of my life?
Saint Peter: Well no. Not exactly. There were some Sundays that you didn’t go to church! Oh…Wait!! On those Sundays you felt guilty that you weren’t in church. So yes!  I am saying that you wasted every Sunday of your life.

NO!!…I am not supporting not going to church. I just used this example because it is something that most of us can relate too.

What a waste of time life would have been if this is how it was lived. This isn’t LIVING. This is existing. Just going through the motions and yet the sad thing is, this is how the majority of us do live our lives. We go through each day doing what is expected of us with little or no thought to what our own personal opinion on the subject is.  Oh, we know when we don’t want to do something. We complain about having to do it. Constantly!  Yet, we still do it. Over and over again. With the same bad attitude.

Why? Well, there is work, for example, most of us have to do it. We need to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. Not to mention those ungrateful brats, who not only need feeding but clothing, educating and entertaining, of course. The problem isn’t with the fact that we have to work but rather our attitude towards work. 

Until recently, when that alarm would go off, at what I thought of as some ungodly hour, the first feeling I would experience every workday morning was one of dread and resentment. I really hated having to go to work. There were so many things around the house that I had to do and just never had time for. I work long hours, it seems to me and the children, because they complain regularly about it, that I am hardly ever at home and let’s not get started about that nearly 3 hour commute I do every day. I was just miserable. So I started to analyze what was so awful about my job. What I realized was this; my job itself was actually quite good. It was challenging and could be very rewarding. I got to interact with wonderful people all day long. When I thought about it, this was probably the perfect job for me. So then why did I recent it so much. If I had to work, and I did, then why was I so upset about it? It was my attitude. It, quite frankly, sucked!

I realized that life was going to continue to feel awful to me until I decided to feel otherwise. I made a choice. I was going to be happy anyway. Just like Mother Theresa had said all that time ago. I have to tell you that since my attitude toward my job has improved I have been a whole lot happier.

Then I started to rethink my attitude across all aspects of my life. And wouldn’t you know it. My life started to change. Instead of existing I am actually starting to live. What changed? Nothing. Nothing that is, except my attitude.

With my attitude in check, all of my nows are sooo much better.